Man…

Okay…I have a glass of red wine while I type this. I wasn’t ready at first.

So I’ve been flirting with this guy lately. A few tipsy convos here and there, a few late-night text convos, and a few toes over the line…it’s fairly obvious at this point what’s going on in our heads. I know I just posted about “Why have I been single FOREVER?” – but at the same time I have needs! So last week or so we discussed how we figured it was going to happen eventually, even if a relationship never forms. It’s just a lot of tension ya know?

First day of the work week. Blah. I wake up to my fifth alarm, and I have 12 minutes left until I actually have to get up. Plenty of time

I sent the risqué text and somehow ended up at the corner of

“I don’t talk dirty on command” Street and “Don’t be surprised if I spit in your mouth when we fucking” Avenue.

Where is the map?! I am OUT OF HERE!

I had no one to turn to at 6:55 in the morning. My best friend is in medical school overseas and the other best friend is probably in a deep sleep (I mean it’s 6:55 am) in her bed. I didn’t even know how to respond when another text rolled through…

“You’re probably rethinking everything you know about me right?”

I’m trying to retrain myself not to be so judgmental of other people’s lifestyles…it’s a process.

So I reply “Nahhhh…..”

Fast foward me trying to start my day with my stomach turning from the thought of someone spitting in my mouth. My shower concert ruined, I didn’t want coffee, and I managed to walk out the door without my lunch. I was distraught all morning while trying to focus on getting off at the right metro stop. Dreams and nasty fantasies about him crushed.

My stomach settles down and I’m instantly curious about this whole concept. I hit up my American Dream Melting Pot Collection of friends. Apparently I’m late to the Saliva Play party. I got every response from “You haven’t? You need to live a little” to “Yeah…sometimes I let him spit on my back” to “That’s disgusting” back to “I don’t spit…I drool. It’s Saliva Play”. I’m over here with flavored lube thinking I’m special and they out here on a secret next level.

I asked one friend if it did anything for her and she said it did zilch, but it made her man feel good. Another insisted that drool was totally different from spit so they couldn’t relate to this experience. My one friend asked her other friends and she was also taken aback at how common this was to the people she was closest to.

My mind was completely blown. I’m not gone lie…for half a second I was like “Drool not that bad” Yeah OKAY.

I had to take it a step further by asking my coworkers. All of their stomachs turned.

At the end of the day I had to let ol’ boy know that “I’m not judging…but that’s not for me. Let’s stick to friendship”.

He said he pouted for a little bit, but recovered. I always thought I was bringing a lil heat to the bedroom, but they done left me with the ‘missionary only’ crew. Will I try it? NOPE. And as much as I wanted to take a ride on that merry go round…bruh if I get spit ANYWHERE on me we are FIST FIGHTING.

When I tell you my entire day was ruled by this discovery…focus obliterated.  Enough was enough so I texted him.

“Nigga I have questions.”

He explained that it wasn’t a hock spit, and that he wouldn’t have done it without discussing it first. Coochie was still dry, but at least I felt better that he wasn’t out here getting rid of the flu in my mouth (sorry for the visual). We discussed it further, but shit y’all at this point she is no longer with the shits.

Takeaway:

If sex is important to you like it is to me then you should ask about all experiences. Sex is usually a big piece of relationships, and if this is something that is important for your future mate then this may not be the person for you. At the end of the day, YOU are the person who has to deal with these experiences. I’m all about guidelines and communication these days, so we need to set the record straight from the beginning.

Damn…he probably gives bomb ass head though… 

-TDB

 

 

*Not my photo for the featured image*

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